How many times you were in a situation where the anticipation of the event was much worse than the actual event itself?
That’s called anticipation 😨 fear!
Anticipation fear of
1 performance on stage
2 Grades of exams
3 How will my life after??
4 How will I look in this dress ?
5. Performance during an Interview
And blah blah blah ……
Nine out of ten times the worst that can happen in any situation is very less. Reflect on the last incident where you were catastrophising the worst scenario and then you thought that it wasn’t worth anticipating.
RECALL ANY LAST THREE INCIDENTS AND PEN DOWN WHAT YOU WERE THINKING BEFORE THAT AND HOW IT WENT OUT!
No one is ever perfect to do all the tasks with accuracy and precision, So allow you to fail, fall and rise again .
Don’t let the incident in the past define you
We start labeling ourself by the incidents which happened in our past. The feeling of regret, after committing a mistake !
The feeling of shame and embarrassment when you have failed or did something which makes one feel that we are not going to bounce back again. These feelings we keep on ruminating and get stuck in the past events and analyzing it again and again we keep I catastrophising and anticipating our future events .You feel and start believing that the trauma of your past will dictate how you are going to behave in the future.
Being too finicky about being Mr. RIGHT OR Mrs. RIGHT
Perfection is a word and it’s just makes someone think too deep and makes stressed if we want to do things thinking like that. Take a chill pill. My son was making a chart paper for his school activity and the way the teacher mentioned he wanted to do Step by step like that . The precision he was taking made him too stressed that ultimately he was all in tears. After crying his heart full, I told him What is the other way out to carry this activity?? He illustrated me and then I responded ,” Do this way and let’s see “.Next Day he came jumping that, My teacher appreciated!
Reduce friction from your life asap
Self improvement is the process of primarily getting your own way out. You can be blocking your own way by your own attitude. You will never be perfect or get rid of all the problems ,if One problem will vanish other may arise but you make them less severe.you can stop making your life harder than it has to be or you are thinking it is .you just need a right MINDSET, RIGHT ATTITUDE AND A CATALYST to get you going.
Don’t label yourself by the deeds you have done in your past
The feeling of deep regret after you become aware that you shouldn’t have done, or you are ashamed of and label yourself by some name words. I was a fool, an idiot or you start abusing yourself by having a thought that you will not bounce back again. Sorry, but this will not help. Getting stuck over a past event by ruminating over again and again will not help, instead will destroy your present and future too. Where is the evidence that there is a single human who has not committed a mistake .Yes but evidence shows that so many people have bounced back after facing a lot of challenges.
Time heals yes it’s true!
But, it solely depends on you, how you and what you decide to do!
You are emphasizing what you are lacking
You are thinking about too much about the things which is difficult to change. I wish my height was big enough why God made my small ? Why I am dark skinned ? Way am I not at things like him or her??
You are thinking,I wish I could change this about myself when you look yourself in the mirror 🪞 .
But,are you taking good use of time by trying to change what is not possible.
Instead, putting your time and efforts on the things you do well. Polishing those skills which you carry which makes you different than others. Try focusing on the things you like about yourself. MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST FOR WHAT YOU ARE HAVING. Anyone can pursue learning some skills which adds value to them, makes them feel good but try not comparing yourself with others.
You are yourself and Noone else!
But, if you keep focusing on the things what you are lacking ,you are intentionally hiding all the potential skills which Makes you, YOU!
For professional help,do reach out to me at 9920949247 [ Online /offline]
Love Deepika
Psychotherapist, counselor and an inclusive educator
